17 May, 2004 - 14:11

My co-worker and (sort of) boss asked me a personal question today.

I always forget how intuitive she is, it's really remarkable - for someone so book smart she is so involved in getting into other peoples' heads as well.

She asked me if I was planning on staying here for a long time.

I said I didn't know.

She said she would talk to the other coordinator and make it "worth my while" to stay if I wanted to stick around.

Again, I said, wow thanks, but I don't know.

'Cuz it's not a question of money. I try to marry these two things all the time: satisfaction and money.

And guess what?

Every single time I try to do it, it comes back to me as a big ball of sour monotony. In Japan, I was paid close to four thousand dollars per month to do very little - and it gave me no job satisfaction.

Here, I'm paid 13 dollars per hour - which is pretty good - but a raise of ten bucks more per house wouldn't make me stay here for a year. I know that. And I can't make promises - not even for a few weeks.

According to Free Will Astrology...

"There's a book by Mira Kirshenbaum called Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-By-Step Guide to Helping You Decide Whether to Stay in or Get Out of Your Relationship. Her aim is to help her readers "move from painful ambivalence to a clear sense of knowing what to do" about their relationships. I'll be saying a prayer with that theme for you this week, Libra. Whether the relationship in question is with a person or group or job or institution, it's high time for you to be free of swampy vacillation so you can glide into the future with a decisive, free-spirited vision."

So you see how this just topped it all off. All these signs for me to cut a relationship - that fact that someone is in the sidelines who can take this job over in a moment's notice, the fact that it's summer, that I feel better giving my time right now than selling it, that maybe I can negotiate to have them lay me off and get unemployment insurance, that I could pain the porch instead of pushing papers.

Financially, it would be dumb to quit now. Cosmically, it would be great.