22 January, 2004 - 15:36

You may remember an entry I made quite some time ago about a certain mathematics teacher I had in high school named Mr. Sivhonen. Once again, his ghost has descended upon my psyche and, once again, caused some temporary havoc. I dreamt that I wasn't able to pass his class. I don't remember the details, because in this dream sequence I was forced to walk out of his class, down the hallway past the new subway station that was constructed on the third floor of my old high school where one geeky, brace-face girl was riding it home (read: down the stairs). I wonder if I need to confront this man about his persuasive discouragement from anything to do with math. I believe he personifies my fear of failure. My fear is Mr. Sivhonen.

And my colon internalises all of this emotion. It's all very deserving of an intense graphic art project isn't it?

I went to a cranial sacral therapist two days ago named Kyra Lobar. If you live in Montr�al, please consider seeing her. She spends a good deal of time in India living under a different persona, but she is staying in Montr�al for awhile. From this experience, one that I've never approximated in my short life, I learned about my feet and confirmed what I knew about my colon.

And I cried..

and cried when she touched my colon.

I couldn't stop crying, until she did whatever she did through a series of eerie-sounding inhales and exhales.

Then I was fine.

So - next time, I'll learn how to talk with my colon to release a lot of this historical crap built up inside.