2001-12-04 - 18:40

Funny things happen in the world. Amber quits the job she had been dreaming of, Kris moves to Van after a grisly bout of mental anguish to leave a city that fell in love with him, Katrina stays in Thunder Bay and finds truth where she is, Marie from Limoges in France visits Katrina in Thunder Bay, and Alexis is in Angola experiencing cultural concurrencies. And I feel a bit like a vector because all of a sudden all these things are happening to scattered people throughout the world. Where am I? Under my kotatsu feeling warm, waiting for rice to be made, skipping my Japanese class, anticipating my sister's visit and meditating on how to live this year.

I've got so many people to care about and so many people who care about me, I don't honestly have space in my brain for it all. How do we juggle the folks we meet in the world? Or, rather, how do we juggle other peoples' desires with our own? What if I'm just feeling lazy? Or stuck in this reality for now that others don't seem to exist.

(Blah! Cornfed! Corn has no nutritional value and neither do I if I go on like that.)

My uncle Jeff rang yesterday. I've never received a phone call from him in my life. Really. And now he calls me in Japan? "We miss you, buddy." HOW? How do you miss someone whom you never see? I don't particularly miss him. At the same time, the possibility exists that I would call him so I guess it was out of place but thoughtful of him to call.

I am getting through Japan by means of socialising with Matt and Marolyn. They are the centralities of my social life. Matt exists to be a best mate, something which I've never really had in a man before. He's totally intellectally bright, knows his shit, is together, is a goof, and regrets his inability to not listen to people. It's helping me curb down my superfluous, half-baked conversational habits. Marolyn leaks out dry humour, joyfulness from what seems to be a joy vaccuum, fills my head with excitement and can be as aloof as I can be.

Do you undertand why these people are my soul clappin' sistah and brah at the moment? (inside joke)

Wha. Gotta split,. doing research on how to get to Hokkaido cheaply on the 21st.

Jess, Marc, Christian I miss you guys if you're still reading this. I had a dream that I was stuck in your skylight the other night. There's a store here with a collection of "impossible objects", one being "the masochist's teapot", can you guess what it looks like? ;)