06 September, 2004 - 03:02

i'm in southern

ontario with my extended relatives, going to be heading back to

thunder bay on wednesday

worried about LACK

of

QUEER!

culture in a place where i only have family but i've contacted pride

central at lakehead university to join their smalltown queertrans

meetings.

mais pourtant, i'm visiting my relatives who always ask,

(with redneck ontario schtick) "ohhh, yeah, oh ok adam, i guess yer

still a swingin' bachelor, there eh, heh heh?"

expecting me to say,

"well actually, there's this girl..."

and every time i say,

"yeah, yeah swinging bachelor, whatever" (followed by several large sips of coors light, the redneckiest beer in ontario)

and this time, i wore my t-shirt that says, (with a picture of a 1950s

woman-in-apron holding a pistol):

"Not gay as in happy, but queer as in fuck you!"

and guess what?...............

NO ONE GETS IT!

i love it. i'm screaming gay but their ears and eyes are full of fast

eddy's crazyfrys or something i dunno.

but i'm so happy and it's

weird.

cuz the last time i passed through this place was in july when i thought

that i was going to

die

and i remember sitting in a harvey's (canuck equivalent of BK) thinking

that i would trade my stupid dying life just for a moment to live in the

suburbs

to drive an suv, to have a couple whining daughters with those stupid

clowns that sit on swings and hang from the ceiling

and now i'm back here thanking the universe that i never actually got

that far!